Don't say we have come to journey's end

And so, with a few simple words, my dream was ended. I'm simply not good enough for the national team. And to add further insult to injury, there is the possibility of there being no Bridging Minds at all this year...

I wonder what's happening to me. I seemed to face the same problem yesterday as the day of the semifinals: my mind blanking out, stuttering, the examples won't come, the arguments don't seem to flow... I hope this doesn't last. Maybe it's because I haven't been reading a lot recently. Time to catch up on newspapers, magazines, books, etc. I remember a time when I used to read the newspapers faithfully everyday. That time is long gone. Maybe that's why my information appears to be increasingly dated. Oh no...

I've been thinking of my commitment levels. When I heard the high commitment required for the national team yesterday, I kind of subconsciously told myself I couldn't do it. And I think I knew already that there was little chance for me to qualify anyway, against such strong competition. This is worrying. I can't seem to commit myself either for long periods of time or intensively. I think it all boils down to my inertia in moving beyond my comfort zone.

Anyway, the day ended with the Festival of Praise (FOP). I think it's very sad that Chapel of the Resurrection (COR), which was one of the three founding churches of FOP, is no longer even on the list of participating churches. There wasn't even any publicity about FOP in the church. I wonder why the retreat from this event. Maybe it's got something to do with the move to SAV.

Apostolic faith in action. What revelation of God do you carry? That was the message at last night's FOP. I don't have a clear answer to the question. I think one of my greatest problems is the area of pride. Pride! Is it not one of the greatest sins of all time? Indeed the devil became the devil because of pride. How art thou fallen from heaven, O star of the morning, son of the dawn! I think I should take my recent defeats as stepping stones to humility. Isn't that one of the most beautiful revelations of God? The God of humility, who opposes the proud and gives grace to the humble.

I now have to go take my afternoon nap. Afternoon naps are good for the mind and body. I don't see why people don't practise this.